33 years of awesome

33 years of awesome

I celebrated my 33rd birthday this year. I have to say, I’ve had a good life. Even the bad and the scary and the heartbreaking seem to have given me something good to take along. I am, by nature, reflective and birthdays are the perfect excuse to ruminate about my life past, present, and invisible-future to come. There were a few bumps along the way, but this year, like most, the experiences were draped heavily with beauty, adventure and happiness.

By far the biggest change this year was the move from the land to the sea and the decision to sail south. The first 6 months on the boat were exhausting and hard. I didn’t consider the life to be mine. I considered myself to be vacationing in another persons adventure, not for my sake, but for theirs. It took me months to settle in to the small space and accept that I had a permanent place on board. However, at the point when I did finally accept that this was my home, I realized that it was also my dream. I stopped looking forward to when we would move back to land and started daydreaming about where we would go next, who we would meet and what we would see. These not-so-small realizations changed the whole dynamic of the boat and suddenly coming home meant comfort and safety. Now, nothing feels better than the gentle waves of the ocean rocking me to sleep.

I believe we make our own path. I also believe that if allowed, for good or bad, others can sweep through, hand-in-hand, leading us along a previously unimagined road. In the beginning, Tie Fighter was not my dream, sailing was not my dream, and living out at sea was certainly not my dream. But I took the chance and let myself be led and after a few wild swings of the pendulum I relaxed into the perfect spot somewhere in the middle. The middle looks good on me.

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